My name is Melissa Meadow, I am The Modern Mortician.  I am a consumer advocate and eco-funeral educator,  a self proclaimed whistleblower. I have worked in the funeral industry since 1999 and had a social media presence since 2016 as The Modern Mortician. Kermit the Dog is my sidekick.

In October of 2023, a Reddit thread was posted about me in the r/askfuneraldirectors forum with some incredibly incorrect, exaggerated, and defamatory information in it.

I was unable to respond to all of the accusations before the thread went Archived.  It took six months of therapy to be able to talk about what happened to me over the last 2+ years, and when I was ready to address what I had not, I could not.

I was able to reference the original thread, and I would like to address it now.

First, I just want to bring to light, it is awful suspicious the amount of brand new accounts created the same day the post was made. Significant_Crow5054, ValCurie, CremationCreations, Additional_Good_2803, among others, all giving their "first hand" experiences with me to embellish the story. 

u/beneficent_don and Boxandbury are coworkers for a business that I have publicly questioned about greenwashing.  Boxandbury and I were friends at one point, though I now know it was not a mutual friendship looking back, and my behavior during a mental health episode awarded me an anti-harassment order for 1 year, which ended November 2023. This individual would take a verbal assault via voice memo, and manipulate the scene into something far bigger than it should have been, contacting my employer and being the reason that employer gave Unemployment for terminating me. Suspiciously after I had reported to the state licensing board about misconduct (cremating bodies on broken down amazon boxes) for which this employer got a slap on the wrist and I became enemy #1.

The first accusation u/beneficent_don levies is “Bet it sloshed.” There was NO WAY I was going to address this initially until I had contact with the mother in question and apologized privately. What I said is between me and her. Despite what I am about to explain, I took full responsibility and apologized genuinely. This was completed in November of 2023. Now- I don’t believe that was my account that left that comment. I initially thought, if this was me, I must have thought I was on the account of one of the gravediggers I follow. There’s absolutely NO WAY I would intentionally say something that vile to a grieving mother. Looking back at a sreen shot of the post, it does not show the @, only the typed in name The Modern Mortician. The profile photo used is not a profile picture I have ever used on tiktok, I have only featured it in my instagram feed and my website. I do not have any other explanation. 

Next up, former coworker Steidler. For those of you who have followed my instagram, you may have seen him when I first moved to Seattle. He and I bonded over the stress that our manager put us through. We had an agreement that I would meet families for him, if he would focus on being the embalmer. He wanted to work Back of House. I wanted to work Front of House. It was a win win, though it did not take long for our piss poor management to push back. I NEVER took credit for Steidler’s work. I have always been a team player and would praise him often in morning meetings when he had worked on a client family of mine. Oh, yes, as accused, I wore a skeleton onesie over clothes in the winter to the funeral home when I was off work and it was closed to the public. I lived a few blocks away and would be the go to person if something needed to be tended to off hours. Claims I avoided work hiding out… I did not hide in the crematory, or anywhere else for that matter. Kermit hated it there, it was hot and loud, and I would not hang out with my dog somewhere he wasn’t comfortable. On the one Saturday Funeral where I failed to order a casket spray., I DID order it, the awful part is I didn’t get the sheet from the FAX MACHINE that said Completed. I faxed the order in. even called about what they wanted while in the arrangement conference. But because I failed to confirm the fax went through, I fully accept my fuck up. I panicked, and I got angry when I felt like Sawyer had thrown me under the bus. Had he been in my shoes, I would have called him to collab to correct the error before involving management, which wasn’t on site anyway.

There were some really toxic things said about my mental health. I had a breakdown for which I was hospitalized in August of 2023. After months of therapy, psych appts, gene tests, doctor and specialist visits, we finally found medication that works, and began treatment for my CPTSD. 

Someone made the comment “There’s a reason she’s worked at no less than 7 different firms since she left Texas.” Excuse me, where? At the time of this post and even now, I worked for 1, 2 , 3. King County, Pierce County, and Pacific County. Yes, I absolutely let my dog run the trails through cemeteries.  We have done that since he was a pup and needed to run faster than my fat ass. I don’t think it’s funny, I usually laughed because he brings me joy. 

Did I get a felony charge in 2023? Yes. I had a terrible court appointed atty, that kept waiving speedy trial, while charges against me changed from Theft of a Casket by misdelivery, to 13 counts of Identity Theft- one for each time the business credit card had been used WHILE employed, and accidently AFTER employment. I wasn't given the opportunity to defend myself. I was in the midst of a mental health crisis, just coming out of inpatient treatment and being smacked with more legal abuse, I was coerced into signing a plea deal for ONE (not 13) count of identity theft.  My court appointed idiot atty pulled me into a courthouse back office and told me this deal was all he would do, after dragging me out for months to believe he was actually researching and preparing for my case. I have a witness to this incident, a retired lawyer who accompanied me as a friend and support person. She heard me say through tears that “This is not what happened, I didn’t do this”. I didn’t understand what was happening in the court room when the judge ordered 20 days in county jail, and when asked by the judge if I had any comment, my babbling should have been enough to alert anyone with half a sense that I was not coherent and not ok. Shits done, and it’ll be on my record for at least another year and a half before I can apply to expunge it. And I will. I wasn't in the right mind to defend myself then, but I will tell everyone my side of the story now. Our justice system is flawed and weighted against the poor.

It is said I have three with Anti Harassment orders against me currently…. I am not ready to talk about the abuse I endured at the hands of those 3 individuals. When in court on this incident, I did NOT contest the anti-harassment, and openly told the entire courtroom I didn’t want to be anywhere near them, and I accepted it as is. They didn’t win because of evidence of anything. In fact, I could have presented evidence that countered every accusation they put down under penalty of perjury, but I was not well. I did not have the ability to do what I am able to do now after some time to heal. Trauma is trauma. These individuals have claimed animal abuse, but this is not true. Anyone who knows me, knows of my love for animals, especially Kermit. I have recently been awarded a protection order against the leader of this group, in fact, Tuesday, June 25, 2024, so it will be in effect for a solid year. Prior to that, I had to get one against an employee of the funeral home that made accusations about me, after this individual FOLLOWED me into a store, made a scene, and assaulted me verbally outside. That order just expired June 5, 2024. She had the sense to stop using her name to harass me online. Someone still makes it a point to email anyone I collab with or have worked with to discredit me by sharing the Reddit post. I attempted to post this essay on Reddit June 27, 2024.  It was brutally downvoted, and by morning, it had been deleted by the mods.  I am being silenced.

There you go. My side of the story. 

I am a whistleblower.  I am an advocate.  I will not be silenced.