First Published Book by The Modern Mortician

**Uncovering the Truth: Behind the Scenes of Exposing Deathcare** Welcome to *Exposing Deathcare,* a podcast created to shine a light on the hidden, often dark realities within the funeral industry. I'm Melissa Meadow, (your host M) or as some of you may know me, *The Modern Mortician.* This podcast is a platform to expose unethical practices, harmful experiences, and shady dealings that have plagued grieving families, funeral staff, and the industry as a whole. By bringing these stories to light, *Exposing Deathcare* aims to push for transparency, support those affected by trauma, and encourage necessary reforms in the way deathcare operates. **Why This Podcast?** For years, I’ve worked behind the scenes in the funeral industry, witnessing the good, the bad, and the shocking. Too often, families face unnecessary upsells, hidden fees, and sometimes outright manipulation when they’re at their most vulnerable. Meanwhile, funeral professionals who truly want to help people are too often pressured by corporate greed or unsustainable business practices. This isn't just about exposing what’s broken – it’s about acknowledging the pain caused by these wrongs and fostering a deathcare environment that respects the dead and the living alike. Through anonymous interviews, real-life stories from funeral directors and staff, and deep dives into specific issues, *Exposing Deathcare* tackles the taboo topics that don’t often make it into the public eye. From high-pressure sales tactics to the consequences of toxic workplace cultures, no topic is off-limits. **Join the Conversation** If you or someone you know has experienced unethical practices or painful situations within the funeral industry, consider sharing your story with *Exposing Deathcare.* Whether you’re a funeral director, a mortician, or someone who has dealt with a funeral home during a difficult time, your story matters. By speaking out, you can help bring accountability to the industry and protect others from facing similar experiences. Submit your stories confidentially, and together, let’s work toward a world where deathcare is about compassion, dignity, and truth. Join the conversation by tuning into *Exposing Deathcare,* and if you have a story to tell, reach out to us. Let’s bring ethics back into deathcare. exposingdeathcare@gmail.com linktr.ee/exposingdeathcare

The Grave Surprise

Memorials in Ink - Papa Joe

Bella Lugosi ~ written in 2015 I don’t know when she was born… when I adopted her, she was estimated to be about a year old, and that was back in 2001, putting her around the age of 15. Over those 14 years, I spent more time with this creature than any human companion in my life. She understood me better, too. She knew when I was sad; becoming the pillow for my face, allowing the tears to soak her fur, my arm in a vice grip around her warm body. She knew when I was happy; we had a special song… “My Bella My Bella”. I’d sing it to her, as she would sit on the counter watching me go through my morning routine. She was a calm and comforting being in my life. She wasn’t “just a cat”. Bella Lugosi was diagnosed with the C word in June, and the next day, my Bella was dead. When the doctor uttered that word, cancer, I felt my stomach freeze and begin descend into a thick, black hole. Like I was hurtling into darkness and no one could see it, but I could feel it. My core went numb. I could feel the emotion drain from my face. He guessed she had three weeks… if I didn’t choose to attack it aggressively with tortuous procedures that wouldn’t necessarily prolong her existence, but might, at least I’d be doing something, right? Wrong. As much as I loved her, I loved her enough to know when to let her go. To let her comfort and needs come above my own selfish ones. We went straight home. I turned on the YouTube series, “Ask A Mortician”, and watched Caitlin Doughty, founder of the Order of the Good Death, tell me how she performed an in home euthanasia and wake for her cat, The Meow. I wanted to be ready. I wanted to give Bella the Good Death. But I didn't need this information after all... it came naturally as I dipped into my human death care knowledge. I called my friend Ellen, owner and caretaker of Eloise Woods Community Natural Burial Park. We would get together to pick a spot for Bella’s body in the next few days. I begin to reach out to mobile vet technicians, leaving messages, emailing… looking for someone who could come to us. I didn’t want Bella to go back into the car and to an unfamiliar place. I wanted her to die comfortably, in my arms, in her home. That night, I sat up on the couch with Bella sleeping on my chest. I slept sporadically, monitoring her labored breathing, making sure she was comfortable. She shuffled off to her bed around 5am, her gait wobbly. I watched her struggle from the couch, and my eyes began to fill with hot tears. I shrugged the thought away, certainly we have more time… he said 3 weeks. I went about getting ready for work. I looked in on her at 7:30am that morning. She was curled up in her cat bed, and seemed restless. She shifted positions a few times before settling down. I opened a whole can of tuna, set it at her bedside, and left for work. When I came home at lunch, it was clear my Bella was rapidly deteriorating. I began reaching out to the mobile veterinarians again. It was time, and if I didn’t act quickly, she would continue to suffer and decline. I finally got an appointment, and set about spending the last hour of her life doing everything she loved most. I called my roommate, Jessica, who came home to be with us. Bella and I sat outside on the concrete, and she sunned herself. She nibbled a little tuna, though she hadn’t touched what I left out for her that morning. She watched the birds and the squirrels. Then the vet arrived. We all went inside. I positioned myself on the couch where we spent the night before. I had a towel, and her favorite blanket. The vet was very soft spoken, very reassuring. She explained every step of the process about to take place. Then she began the first injection. Bella took her final breath comfortably in my arms. I don’t know how long I sat there, holding her limp body. The vet continued to talk… soft, soothing. Uh-huh. I don’t know what I was agreeing too… uh-huh is my default answer. The vet gently excused herself and exited the home. I remember going into autopilot. The tears had stopped. I positioned Bella in her bed, favorite blanket beneath her. I went about double bagging ice packs to lay under her for the night. I called Ellen, we agreed to meet at Eloise Woods at 7:30am. I ran an errand for work, eager to take my mind of the lifeless body off of my best friend laying out in the living room. Several hours later, emotions took hold, as I found myself alone at home with Bella’s body. It started with simply being seated at her side, softly stroking her fur for what I knew would be the last times. I had a human fingerprint kit at the ready, knowing I wanted to secure her paw print for a future memorial tattoo, and a pair of scissors to trim fur from her tail. What would have been a simple task of inking and pressing her paws to paper turned into sobbing child’s art project gone awry, as I distressed over the ink not coming clean of her soft fur and jelly bean toes. I found myself mumbling apologies to her incoherently, crying and mourning. After what felt like hours, but was certainly no more than 45 minutes, I pulled it together enough to realize I would not be spending the final night at home with Bella’s body. I would never get any suitable sleep. I was grief stricken and couldn’t keep my hands off her soft body, which was now stiffly posed in full rigor, a good 6 hours after her last breath. I placed her bed upon mine, where she used to sleep, closed my bedroom door, and retreated to the comfort of a friend for the remainder of the night. I woke early after a surprisingly deep 5 hours of sleep, and drove home to take Bella to her final resting place in Eloise Woods. Upon arrival, Ellen and I walked around the park, contemplating where I would bury her body. I finally settled on a place at the base of a towering tree, and Ellen began to break ground with a pick axe and her hands, shoveling large amounts of dirt out of the hole. She paused and let me take a turn before I eventually caved and let her finish the dig around some heavy roots and chunks of rock. When she was satisfied with the depth and width of the hole, I placed Bella and her blanket into the hole and positioned her collar with the name tag facing out, nested her toy mouse between her paws, then gently enveloped the rest of her body in the blanket before covering her- layer after gentle layer- with soil. Ellen helped me pick a flat, flagstone marker for the grave, which had a paw already etched into it. She would later add Bella’s full name, Bella Lugosi. I left my best fur friend at a place I love. I did it exactly the way I had hoped to. I gave my cat, Bella, a Good Death. As I drove away, my heart felt heavy, but my spirit felt lighter. I had given her a beautiful life and death- but the life she gave me I will never forget.

Comforting Closure Interview with Traci Arieli & The Modern Mortician Melissa Meadow

Life Forest Single Cremation Burial Offerings in a Wool Burial Shroud

Fun with a Funeral Make Up Tutorial, inspired by Death Becomes Her

Melissa Meadow, The Modern Mortician, advocates for consumers when facing funeral decisions. She is a whistleblower in the funeral industry, and has been attacked by her colleagues for her platform and strength in asking the hard questions.

Mental Health and the Break of 2023

Death Doulas; explained by GenX to the Baby Boomer Generation.

Big Sleep Productions on Patreon by The End Foundation 501c3

Orion Magazine- The Mushrooms that Ate Luke Perry by Casey Lyons

Ilwaco Cemetery in Pacific County, Washington, has long stood as a testament to the rich history and lives of the coastal community. Yet, like many cemeteries, it had fallen into disrepair, with overgrown weeds and scattered debris tarnishing its serene beauty. Recognizing the need to restore dignity to this sacred space, I spearheaded the largest cleanup effort the county has ever seen at the cemetery, a labor of love that brought together a dedicated group of volunteers with one common goal: to honor the past by preserving its resting place. Rallying the Community Organizing a large-scale cleanup wasn’t an easy feat, but it was one I knew had to happen. Cemeteries are not just places of burial; they are also spaces of reflection, memory, and respect. Over time, Ilwaco Cemetery had become overrun with weeds, trash, and natural debris, erasing the care and respect that the space deserved. It was time for action. With the power of community in mind, I reached out through local networks, social media, and word of mouth. The response was overwhelming! Over 20 volunteers, from all walks of life, showed up, bringing gloves, tools, and an incredible spirit of giving back. Together, we formed a strong team, determined to restore the cemetery’s former dignity. A Day of Hard Work and Transformation On the day of the cleanup, we were met with the daunting sight of an overgrown cemetery. Yet, instead of feeling overwhelmed, the team saw an opportunity to make a difference. Armed with rakes, shovels, and sheer determination, we set to work. We spent the day removing tangled weeds, cleaning headstones, and picking up scattered garbage, all while sharing stories, laughter, and the satisfaction of working together. By the end of the day, we had hauled away a staggering 1,800 pounds of garbage and weeds to haul to the county dump. It was an awe-inspiring moment to see how much we had cleared and how much beauty we had uncovered. Paths that were once hidden were restored, and headstones long neglected were given the attention and respect they deserved. The Impact This cleanup was more than just a beautification project—it was a reconnection to the history and people of Ilwaco. By restoring the cemetery, we honored the memories of those who rest there, ensuring that future generations can continue to reflect on the lives and stories held within its grounds. The collective efforts of the volunteers made an immense difference, and the sense of accomplishment was palpable. It was a reminder of the power of community and what can be achieved when people come together for a meaningful cause. We didn’t just remove trash; we restored a piece of Pacific County’s history.

The mistreatment of J.F.

what is a death doula?

Sebaahstian Baach, the journey from birth to becoming an educational tool

Parting Stone is a solid solution for what you can do after cremation....

To hold once more.... introducing Parting Stone, Solidified Remains from your Pet

Greenwashing has entered funeral care.

A thoughtful look at how human composting is not the answer to greener funeral dispositions.

LGBTQ+ and Securing Your Rights and Respect in Death

I began to realize I wasn't going to be fortunate enough to work FOR someone who felt the way I did about death care. I had to be that someone for another.

Water cremation is an eco-friendly alternative to flame cremation and I price it the same as flame.

The Beginning of The End . Green Funeral Care and The End Foundation

The benefits of being savvy in death care arrangements from a licensed Funeral Director. 

What is the purpose of putting a casket into a vault or grave liner? Is it just an upsell?

Originally written in 2016.

Death Becomes Her Originally Written February 19, 2017